Rhythm vs. Routine

A different way of structuring your days.

Some people thrive on routine. Are you one of them? Routine creates a sameness about the shape of days that can be soothing, and for some people routine can support productivity because it allows you to figure out how to divide your energy among tasks. Routine is great!

Except when you hate it.

I am one of the people who does not thrive on routine. Any hint of it and my anxiety spikes. To me it feels restrictive and exhausting. I like things to be open-ended. My time, my ideas, my work. To-do lists? Nope. Schedules? Please, no. I’ll do it if I have to, and I’m the type of person who always shows up and hits deadlines, but I prefer my own time to be unstructured. I like the feeling of being able to expand to fit a space, and letting things happen the way they want to.

I didn’t always know this about myself. In fact, I thought I was a person who liked schedules, systems, and structured programs. This is because I’m good at that type of stuff. I have a very accurate internal sense of time and my own capacities, and rarely take on more than I know I can handle. This means I tend to be able to finish things and do them on time, be it assigned projects like homework, or commitments I’ve made to myself or others. I must like being that way if I’m good at it, right?

What I’ve come to realize is that my insistence on being on time and making good on my commitments using structured routine was a coping strategy I developed to manage my anxiety disorder and the challenges of being an HSP. If I’m always on time, no one can complain about me. If I make good on my commitments, people will think well of me and like me! All my life I’ve held myself to some very high standards all so I could avoid stressful conflict and my often overwhelming feelings of unworthiness.

And I think that’s okay. We all develop managing techniques for our various issues, and at least this particular one benefits me. I’ve been able to accomplish some great things in my life because I pushed myself so hard. But I got tired, eventually. I was pushing myself so hard for amorphous rewards that didn’t really materialize. Sure, people know they can count on me. That matters. But also, so what? Do I really need to put so much pressure on myself, exhaust myself, just so I can be always on time, rather than mostly on time? Do I really need to do all the things?

I don’t. And you don’t, either. If you find that the structure and routine needed to get it all done stresses you out rather than energizes you, there may be a better way to do things. Maybe we can relax a bit, take it easy, and figure out a way to get through our days and accomplish what we want that isn’t based on constrictive structure.

How about rhythm? Rhythm is defined by its combination of accented and unaccented beats, and functions as the relationship between those “strong” and “weak” elements. The downbeats, and even silences, are integral to and as important as the beats that actively carry things forward. They provide definition, moments of rest and reflection, cadence.

Unlike routine, which is defined primarily by its upbeats – I do this, then I do this, then I do this – rhythm is about ebb and flow. And you can decide if you like a rhythm that is straightforward and even, or complex and dynamic. Or something in between. Rhythm is flexible, and you can experiment as you go along. Over time I’ve discovered that I like my rhythm to make its own decisions about how it goes. I let it carry me along, and have grown in my trust over time of its self-generating wisdom. My rhythm is easy-going, never hurried, rarely busy. But rhythm can also look like being very busy for a while, then taking a long period of rest, then getting busy again. Or it can look like short bursts of frenetic activity throughout the day, each followed by total zoning out or periods of lesser activity. Find your own rhythm. March to the beat of your own drum.

This is mainly a mental task, changing how you view your activities: as fitting into a schedule, or as part of a rhythm that is like a pattern. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get less done, but it will probably allow you to shift your priorities in order to focus on what really matters to you. Instead of having a list of all the things you “need” to get done, rhythm encourages you to pick one or two, and to open up space between tasks for empty time or things you don’t have to do but want to. I find it to be a pleasanter way to live, and it suits my HSP personality that cannot deal with time crunch anxiety very well. And I’m actually more productive than I was when I forced routines on myself, because I’m not getting lost in activities on a to-do list that I don’t really need to do. Rhythm is a flexible and responsive system, and well-suited to those of us who find routine overbearing.