We Are ALL Part of the Burnout Generation

You can’t reason your way out of stuckness.

I’ve heard that Millennials are the burnout generation, but I think we’re all the burnout generation right now. Not just because of the Pandemic, though that has undoubtedly created its own burnout problem. But what I’m talking about predates the Pandemic, even predates the political and cultural turmoil of the last number of years. We are in an era of burnout, and it’s because our old systems, institutions, and ways of life are no longer working for us. The good news is we are also in an era of shift, in the midst of a large-scale rebellion against the old ways and a push for something better for ourselves individually and collectively. The bad news is, well, these are not easy times to live in. It feels a bit like standing on a precipice, and one more thing may push us over.

One more thing. There are just so many things required of us nowadays, aren’t there? It’s endless and all-consuming. We work more hours than people did a generation ago (the majority of full-time American workers are on the job for more than 40 hours a week), yet we are not compensated accordingly. But this isn’t really about money, it’s about the ubiquitous necessity of our labor. We see unproductive time as wasted time, only acceptable if it’s spent on something useful, like “leisure activities” or “rest and restoration (to prepare for more work).” Most of us harbor a secret fear of being lazy, and thus exercise constant vigilance over our activities, tallying them up to make sure the balance of the day tips strongly in favor of busyness.

Burnout is the inevitable culmination of the hypercompetitive, scarcity-minded, and unkind society we live in (I’m speaking specifically of the US here, but this may have echoes elsewhere). In this spirit-crushing environment, only the fittest can survive. And yet we are told that we can too, if we only try harder. The language of capitalism is appropriated to sell us this belief: if we optimize ourselves, we too can get ahead. And when we do, we’ll reap the rewards. Except, many of us find that those rewards are empty. And by then we’re so entrenched and entangled by our indebted lives that we can’t see a way out. Often, we don’t even realize we are mired in shit. We feel something is missing, something is wrong – why aren’t we happy? – but we think the problem must be us, because after all we’ve done everything right. We followed the rules, did all the things, are still doing all the things! So why this…stuckness?

Confusion, anger, and despair are some of the emotions that can result from not getting out of life what you have put into it. First, you must understand that it’s not your fault. It’s a rigged game. Please let this sink in for a minute. It’s not your fault. You are not lazy, a failure, a loser, or a bad person. Okay?

Second, you must understand that there is hope. You have to believe that it can get better. Even if you don’t believe believe it, say it to yourself this way: “I have to believe that it can get better for me.” It doesn’t matter if you can’t currently think your way out of your stuckness, or if such a belief feels irrational, unconvincing, and too indeterminate. You have to believe that it can get better for you. Because here’s the secret about burnout: the hard part is what you’re experience right now. Being stuck is the hard part, not getting out of stuckness. Trust me on this.

Third, it’s important to understand that burnout is a state exhaustion combined with trying to reconcile two incompatible desires: the desire for change warring with a desire to remain the same. You know something has to change, but you have so many reasons for not making changes (e.g. “This is a good job, if you leave you’ll end up making less money elsewhere, people will think you’re a loser if you take a less prestigious position…”). This manifests as is a feeling of not know what you want. If we can justify staying in stuckness, we will, because we can always find good reasons to do so. Here’s the problem with reasoning: it convinces us to do things we don’t actually like. Reasoning dispossesses us of our true selves. As this study* has shown, when people use reasoning to make decisions, their choices stray from previously stated preferences. Unfortunately, we tend to believe that reasoning is a good way to make decisions. It’s not. Or at least it’s not a good way to guarantee satisfaction or happiness.

When you take away all of the reasons, good and bad, for why you are living your life a certain way, making certain choices, continuing on in situations that are causing you unhappiness, what are you left with? Pure preferences. What you like and don’t like. What gives you life, what drains your joy. Spend time in this space, getting to know yourself. She will tell you what your next step needs to be.

*Mercier and Sperber, 2011. “Why Do Humans Reason? Arguments for an Argumentative Theory.” Behavioral and Brain Sciences 34: 57-111. doi:10.1017/S0140525X10000968.