No, We're Not All Broken — Kendra Patterson

You know that Leonard Cohen song with the lyrics about there being a crack in everything and that’s how the light gets in? It’s beautiful, right? Well, I hate it (sorry, Leonard!). You’ve probably come across this metaphor in another form: we’re all broken. This idea that humans are imperfect is supposed to make us feel better about our daily failures, I guess. Except it’s never made me feel better, not even once. It just doesn’t resonate with me. I’m already hyperaware of my inadequacy – why make it an essential feature of my personality? Are my only choices wholeness or brokenness? Because I choose wholeness. Or am I not allowed to do that?

Acknowledging our human brokenness is seen as a way of being compassionate with ourselves. Many of us do hold ourselves to impossible standards; we all feel we are failing at something. The idea is that we are still worthy despite our flaws. Sounds nice, right? But I don’t want to accept that my worthiness is a condition bestowed charitably at best. Sometimes you’ll hear a rephrase that seems to make it make it more palatable: we are all worthy because of our flaws. Our flaws, after all, are what make us human. This still doesn’t work for me: we’re right back to making brokenness our essential nature. I want to escape this paradigm altogether.

I ask you: what if there is no such thing as flaws?

What if the things about ourselves that are labeled “flaws” are actually symptoms of us trying to accommodate ourselves to circumstances that don’t suit us? How many of these supposed flaws would be strengths in another type of situation?

What if your brokenness is a symptom of doing for others instead of yourself?

What if your flaws are actually strengths that are out of their element?

What if your life was about becoming more fully yourself rather than fixing yourself?

Metaphors like “we’re all broken” are what I call meaningless meaningfulness. They sound wise, but don’t stand up to critical scrutiny. You don’t have to limit yourself by accepting you are broken. You don’t have to accept your “flaws” to make progress in your life. In fact, outright rejecting conceptual paradigms such as these is how we can make our greatest leaps forward.

Think about those things that you consider your flaws. Maybe they’re the things about yourself you’ve always been made to feel aren’t good enough or need to be changed outright. I’m not talking about habits here, but aspects of character. Are you socially awkward, like me? What would this trait look like if you re-imagined it as a strength? Maybe it’s a manifestation of the fact that you are an observer by nature, someone who sees straight to the heart of things. Do you worry that you’re lazy, as I did for many years? Maybe the problem is what you’re focused on accomplishing – if it doesn’t inspire you to action, perhaps it’s not the right thing for you. Reframing it in your mind can help you begin to tear down limiting beliefs about yourself. There’s no telling where you might go in life, once you throw off those mental constraints.

Let the cracks be ones you make, and let the light be your light that you shine out to the world.